Losing my camcorder

August 18, 2007

Severe fatigue can impair your judgment. That’s what we usually hear about the impact of tiredness. I made a very silly mistake when I was physically tired due to a long flight back home to Indonesia. We departed from O’Hare International Airport Chicago on Wednesday, August 15, 2007. The 16-hour flight from O’Hare to Hong Kong was very tiring. It was just too long. We had a three-hour stop at Hong Kong. Using the same aircraft, we continued our flight to Singapore. This four-hour-flight only added boredom. And then we had to wait another 9 hours for the next flight using Garuda.

Flying with other 11 people in my group made me less alert. I felt so secure. I did not need to pay attention the details about anything. So, when we finally checked in for our domestic flight (i.e. from Jakarta to Yogyakarta), I did not really pay attention to the things around me. And the silly mistake happened here. I carelessly put my hand-carry bag together with my baggage. I didn’t have any key to lock my hand-carry bag. All my money was in that hand-carry bag. My DV camcorder was also in that bag. Without being locked! I put the bag mechanistically into the scale. It was 29.7 kg – a perfect weight for domestic flight that allows me to carry a 30-kg luggage.

About two hours later, my mind started to work. I was so struck by my late awareness. Oh gosh … my camcorder … my money?? All my rupiahs and dollars are there! When things are hopeless, the only thing you can expect is to hope that the bad thing would not happen. I felt so tortured by the late departure from Jakarta. I tried to develop hypothesis to rationalize my positive hope. “Well,” I started to talk to myself, “today is very busy. There are just too many passengers today. Fridays are always a peak day for the domestic flight. Moreover, today is August 17, which is a day-off since we celebrate the Independence Day. The best thing to happen is of course: the crews working to ship the luggage must be very busy. I think they do not have any slightest time to find something precious from hundreds of bags they handle.” That was the only rationalization that I made. I started to calm down. I found inner peace. “Well, if I lost my camcorder, I have to accept that. It was my only mistake. I could not blame anybody else. I was the only one to blame, since I’m fully aware that it was me who triggered a bad thing to occur. I let somebody else to do harm on me.”

So, I waited for the good thing to happen, but without neglecting that the worst thing might also happen!

August 19, 2007

Exactly, poor health, severe fatigue and tiredness can impair our judgment. The old airplane, MD 82 operated by Lion Airliner, landed safely at Adisutjipto airport. When I got my blue hand-carry bag, I spot the little black bag on it. I also found my money untouched. They were safe. I felt good to see that the bad thing did not happen.

At 6.30 p.m. I safely arrived at home. I was overjoyed to see my kid, Rio. He showed his happiness by dancing and hugging me tightly. About 9 pm, I was too tired. So, I went to sleep. About midnight, my wife woke me up, asking the whereabouts of my camcorder. I was struck again. I got up, checking my blue bag. I found nothing. “I have taken everything out of this bag,” my wife told me.

My eyes were still heavy. And I could not think clearly yet. And I only said that I was the one to blame for the loss. I could not think of something else when fatigue came. And then after about one hour regretting the bad luck, I went to sleep. The rest of the night was a torture for my wife. She loves the camcorder. She remembered the details of our struggle to get this precious camcorder when we got it in 2003. At that time, we were about to leave home after two years studying at Boston University. We spent US$800 for the camcorder. We waited for the whole day for the delivery service from UPS to ship my order. Since I had to work at 6 pm, I could not wait UPS any longer. It was the landlord of our apartment to receive it. He stored it on the front door my room. We were very happy to see the beautiful camcorder from a venerated technology producer: Sony.

The dawn broke, I was still in bed. And the conversation was still around the lost camcorder. “Well, the ability to accept both good and bad luck in a moderate manner is the most distinctive characteristic of a mature person.” I started to develop a theory. “We have experienced various kinds, both unhappy and happy things in our life. And we could make the right decision for those things. We did not spend a lot of time mourning of the bad luck though. Or we did not spend time by being too overjoyed when good luck came. We have been pretty stable. Our experiences have told us to be moderate in whatever situation.” That was my remark on the loss of my camcorder.

“I think so,” my wife replied. “But, still, it is too difficult for me to accept this. And that made me restless the whole night. I could not sleep well.”

However, life went on. Our day was filled with a great joy. My son was so happy to see me. He often hugged me. He often touched me. He often kissed me. I cannot deny the big impact of my being away for two months. He missed me so much. When the evening came, we planned to enjoy the favorite meatball. I took my jacket from the closet. And my heart was filled with a greater joy. My little black bag was stored in the closet. I took it and handed it in to my wife. She was so surprised.

The things became clearer. Again, my fatigue inhibited me from thinking reasonably. When I took out the black bag from the blue bag, I directly stored it in the closet. I did not want my son to see the camcorder and play with it. I did it automatically without remembering doing it. So, when my wife asked me the whereabouts of my camcorder the earlier midnight, I could not think of it. I was totally tired and fatigue so I could not figure out the things that I subconsciously did.